Never would have made it.

This song speaks so much truth to me. We all are confronted with extreme circumstances in our lives. But I know where would I be if it were not for the goodness and mercy of God. He has brought me the darkest storms allowing me to see sunshine again. Not all hope is lost. There is a God ...a GREAT God at that. Who hears our cries, counts our tears and listens to our prayers. Never think you are alone because thats when God is closest to you, he wants us to lean on him and not on the false promises of the world. The world will turn its back on you but God would never. Keep fighting, do not give up and have faith. You will make it.

We Can't be friends.

I think this is one of the perfect songs that speaks of my situation right now. Sometimes being friends does NOT help at all and what does actually help is having that person completely removed from your life. Some friendships are just not healthy. Especially if it is a never ending cycle of heartbreak.

I was dating someone on and off for two years now. No I will not mention his name. I fell in love with him. But as much as he cared he did not feel as strongly. He was always in and out of a BS relationship with his ex. I was wrong for allowing it and accepting him back all the time. The drama began with her.

That was not who I was. That drama filled person died a few years ago. This is supposed to be a new me and hear I am getting caught up in this madness allowing it to bring out the ugly in me. No No No, I can not have this.

So to make a long story short because I refuse to get into detail, it is now over. I do not know what the future holds nor do I want to know. Nothing is ever set in stone. But right now there is no longer an US. Making someone your priority when your not even an option on their list is a common mistake people make. Simply because we as humans care too much and we want so badly for the other person to feel the same. But we can not force feelings. It is what it is.

So as I am dealing with a broken heart I am also trying to find myself again. I lost track of myself, my wants and needs. What is best for Cyn. But everyday is a new day and everyday is an opportunity for a new beginning , to start fresh.

All I can do is look at this at a learning experience. Just take it and learn. Analyze it and make sure not to make the same mistakes in the future. I know what I deserve, I know my self worth. And I know I deserve way more than what I have been given this whole time. I have faith that my day will come where I will fall head over heels again and this time he will return the feelings. And there our journey will begin together.

The Glass Pavilion

Would you ever consider living in a house such as this? It almost seems a bit unreal to me. Personally as fabulous and out of this world this house is; I would have too many concerns living here. First off, majority of the glass has open glass windows everywhere. Second there are no curtains or shades. Thirda where is the security. Living in a house like this we fantasize about, but are you really safe?

How about if there was an earthquake, storm, hail some type of natural disaster that class would shatter in an instant. How about if there was a theif on the loose robbing local homes, your glass will be shattered. Where is the privacy? And not to mention your going to have alot of window washing to do. I mean thats if your not lazy.

I dont know personally for me , I would not live in a house made of glass, it will have my nerves SHOT.

PHOTOSHOOT WE DID IN FLORIDA ON VACATION

           

 

                                                       PHOTO BY: eNVy PHOTOGRAPHY



                                                                    

Should we Complain?

I was going to write a post doing just that; COMPLAINING! I have had such a rough few days that I just wanted to quit on everything. It took everything I had to smile and be happy today when deep down inside I wanted to scream bloody murder.

After finally arriving home after a long, hot, tiring day I of course go on my laptop. Did the usual. Ate some BANGIN dinner my mom cooked, checked my e-mail, checked my FaceBook and relaxed. I put up a post on FaceBook that said just this....


"I DONT NEED TO EXPLAIN MYSELF TO ANYONE. IM TIRED AND HAVE BEEN ILL. IF YA CANT EXCEPT THAT , AND THAT BEING I "DISSAPEAR" LIKE SOME OF YA SAY THEN GET OUT MY LIFE. I DONT NEED TO EXPLAIN MY MEDICAL ISSUES TO ANYONE, ANYONEEEEEE."

I was angry as you can clearly see with all the CAPS. There are just times when enough is enough. So I vented with my word vomit.

But after venting I came across this video and had re-evaluate my emotions. We are only human and have every legal right to complain about things that hurt us or make us feel bad. But do we sometimes complain too much? Where we just sound miserable and never satisfied? I often tell the children I work with or my peers think twice before you complain but yet today I was guilty of it. Here is a clear example on why we should not complain and have more gratitude of the things we already have in our lives. God bless this young man. Watching this I cried. I cried because I felt ashamed of even complaining, I cried because I felt so blessed, I cried because his gift moved my heart, I cried for several reasons. But my tears were not for myself but for how amazed I am of this miracle.

At the end of the day we are all human and make mistakes. It is okay just don't lose yourself in it.

-Cynthia

MARRIED TO THE MOB SALE X