Thursday, August 26, 2010

Never would have made it.



This song speaks so much truth to me. We all are confronted with extreme circumstances in our lives. But I know where would I be if it were not for the goodness and mercy of God. He has brought me the darkest storms allowing me to see sunshine again. Not all hope is lost. There is a God ...a GREAT God at that. Who hears our cries, counts our tears and listens to our prayers. Never think you are alone because thats when God is closest to you, he wants us to lean on him and not on the false promises of the world. The world will turn its back on you but God would never. Keep fighting, do not give up and have faith. You will make it.

We Can't be friends.



I think this is one of the perfect songs that speaks of my situation right now. Sometimes being friends does NOT help at all and what does actually help is having that person completely removed from your life. Some friendships are just not healthy. Especially if it is a never ending cycle of heartbreak.

I was dating someone on and off for two years now. No I will not mention his name. I fell in love with him. But as much as he cared he did not feel as strongly. He was always in and out of a BS relationship with his ex. I was wrong for allowing it and accepting him back all the time. The drama began with her.

That was not who I was. That drama filled person died a few years ago. This is supposed to be a new me and hear I am getting caught up in this madness allowing it to bring out the ugly in me. No No No, I can not have this.

So to make a long story short because I refuse to get into detail, it is now over. I do not know what the future holds nor do I want to know. Nothing is ever set in stone. But right now there is no longer an US. Making someone your priority when your not even an option on their list is a common mistake people make. Simply because we as humans care too much and we want so badly for the other person to feel the same. But we can not force feelings. It is what it is.

So as I am dealing with a broken heart I am also trying to find myself again. I lost track of myself, my wants and needs. What is best for Cyn. But everyday is a new day and everyday is an opportunity for a new beginning , to start fresh.

All I can do is look at this at a learning experience. Just take it and learn. Analyze it and make sure not to make the same mistakes in the future. I know what I deserve, I know my self worth. And I know I deserve way more than what I have been given this whole time. I have faith that my day will come where I will fall head over heels again and this time he will return the feelings. And there our journey will begin together.

Sunday, August 22, 2010

The Glass Pavilion

Would you ever consider living in a house such as this? It almost seems a bit unreal to me. Personally as fabulous and out of this world this house is; I would have too many concerns living here. First off, majority of the glass has open glass windows everywhere. Second there are no curtains or shades. Thirda where is the security. Living in a house like this we fantasize about, but are you really safe?

How about if there was an earthquake, storm, hail some type of natural disaster that class would shatter in an instant. How about if there was a theif on the loose robbing local homes, your glass will be shattered. Where is the privacy? And not to mention your going to have alot of window washing to do. I mean thats if your not lazy.

I dont know personally for me , I would not live in a house made of glass, it will have my nerves SHOT.





Wednesday, August 18, 2010

PHOTOSHOOT WE DID IN FLORIDA ON VACATION

           



 




                                                       PHOTO BY: eNVy PHOTOGRAPHY



                                                                    

Tuesday, August 17, 2010

Should we Complain?

I was going to write a post doing just that; COMPLAINING! I have had such a rough few days that I just wanted to quit on everything. It took everything I had to smile and be happy today when deep down inside I wanted to scream bloody murder.

After finally arriving home after a long, hot, tiring day I of course go on my laptop. Did the usual. Ate some BANGIN dinner my mom cooked, checked my e-mail, checked my FaceBook and relaxed. I put up a post on FaceBook that said just this....


"I DONT NEED TO EXPLAIN MYSELF TO ANYONE. IM TIRED AND HAVE BEEN ILL. IF YA CANT EXCEPT THAT , AND THAT BEING I "DISSAPEAR" LIKE SOME OF YA SAY THEN GET OUT MY LIFE. I DONT NEED TO EXPLAIN MY MEDICAL ISSUES TO ANYONE, ANYONEEEEEE."

I was angry as you can clearly see with all the CAPS. There are just times when enough is enough. So I vented with my word vomit.

But after venting I came across this video and had re-evaluate my emotions. We are only human and have every legal right to complain about things that hurt us or make us feel bad. But do we sometimes complain too much? Where we just sound miserable and never satisfied? I often tell the children I work with or my peers think twice before you complain but yet today I was guilty of it. Here is a clear example on why we should not complain and have more gratitude of the things we already have in our lives. God bless this young man. Watching this I cried. I cried because I felt ashamed of even complaining, I cried because I felt so blessed, I cried because his gift moved my heart, I cried for several reasons. But my tears were not for myself but for how amazed I am of this miracle.

At the end of the day we are all human and make mistakes. It is okay just don't lose yourself in it.

-Cynthia



Saturday, August 14, 2010

MARRIED TO THE MOB SALE X

BEAUTY 360

http://www.cvs.com/CVSApp/catalog/shop_department.jsp?filterBy=&navAction=pop&navCount=4&itemId=cat330007

Friday, August 13, 2010

Best-Friends

Growing up as young boys and girls we say everyone in our class is our best friend. Our next door neighbhor is our best friend. But as children we don't know any better. We're innocent and don't see the evils of the world. How we view things are completely different than adults.

Now as you grow older, your experiences with friends and best-friends changes. You no longer have the group of girls you used to hang out with everyday at school coming over for sleep overs and manicures. Where are they now?

I have had my share of best-friends and fall outs with them. But what I can say is this, there is no perfect best-friend. We all mess up and make mistakes. But that is all apart of human nature. Nothing makes us more Christ-like than to forgive others. Now I will admit I have a hard time forgiving. I guess it is because of things I have dealt with in my past. That does not make it right though. Holding grudges is something I will continue to work on, it is in no way healthy.

Now I have a handful of Best-Friends. There will be periods of times where we do not talk for a while. And then there will be times when we see eachother basically everyday. All for different reasons. We're adults now so our lives become busy with responsibilities and other things. Yes we argue and fight but what set of best-friends don't. If you do not argue with your best-friend there is something really wrong there. Is that friendship genuine? You won't always see eye to eye on certain matters. We're going to slip up. And we're going to have tit-for-tats. But when you are able to talk it out, get past it and laugh/joke about it. That is a TRUE friendship. Being able to over-come obstacles together. Forgiving and loving eachother flaws and all. I mean who wants a PERFECT best-friend? Not me, that would be so boring. Each friendship should be unique and different.

That is what I cherish about my friendships, despite the arguing. I appreciate the diversity and uniqueness of that individual. I would not want them to change for anything in the world because then they would not be the friend that I love and adore. I know I can depend on them even if they make mistakes and I hope they can depend on me even if I make mistakes. Because at the end of the day we are only human. I love you all.
Pain in the butts and all.





Lady Gaga-Reloaded

Sunday, August 8, 2010

KANYE WEST EXPOSED




What do you think...

*NEW* NINA SKY "THE OTHER SIDE" ALBUM


I love these girls. I must say their look as well as their music has matured. And I love it. They look absolutely fabulous. This is something definately I am blasting on my iPOD. Here is the link to a FREE Download of their 8 TRACK ALBUM "The Other Side". Enjoy loves <3

-xoxo Cynthia


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